Question: We will be arranging the takha/pyar for my daughter. Who visits first? Does the groom’s family visit the bride’s family or the other way around?
Congratulations on your daughter’s upcoming wedding! Traditionally a takha, the first pre-wedding ceremony in a Punjabi wedding, is only done once and usually takes place at the home of the girl or at a place arranged by her family. The engagement ceremony, on the other hand, has two components which can be done separately and in which either family may visit the other first.
The takha, also known as roka, establishes a formal relationship between the boy’s and girl’s families. In essence it is a promise of marriage between the couple and signals that both families have stopped searching for a marital partner. It is a small ceremony that involves close family from both the boy’s and girl’s side. It is also a quick ceremony in which money and sweets are given to the boy by the girl’s family and to the girl by the boy’s family.