Time Frame for Announcing Engagement After a Close Relatives Death?

I would like to know how soon after a close relatives death can you announce an engagement. – Suman

Sumanji,

May the memories of your close relative stay with you always and give you peace and comfort in knowing they lived a good life.

Traditionally families used to wait one year before celebrating any event; this is time period is called ‘veerana’.

Albeit some may announce their celebratory events before the year, in the end, it really depends on what your relationship was to the deceased,  that persons’ age, and even the individual family customs.  If the deceased was fairly young, families will most likely not wish to participate in any events (parties) for a year.  In this case I believe one should announce an engagement a few weeks after the first bhog (prayer), which is called ‘uthalla sukhshanti di ardas’. After this type of ardas families continue on with life and may start attending events if they are up to it.

If the deceased was elderly, although again it is customary to wait until after the bhog, you can announce your engagement sooner, perhaps a few months after the funeral. The difference, of course, being that an elderly person has lived their life fully so one can celebrate their life rather than mourn their death. We cannot do this for young people whose time with us has been cut short.

If, for what ever reason, you are unable to wait through the veerana to announce the engagement, your Auntyji suggests you speak with your family members about your intent to announce it before you go public with the news.

If the immediate family of the deceased does not attend the engagement celebration (if there is one), please be very understanding.  Mourning has no time limit for individuals.

Sincerely,

Aapke Auntyji


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