The first pre-wedding ceremony in a Punjabi wedding is the thaka. The thaka, also known as roka, establishes a formal relationship between the boy’s and girl’s families. In essence it is a promise of marriage between the couple and signals that both families have stopped searching for a marital partner.
It is a small ceremony that involves close family from both the boy’s and girl’s side. It is also a quick ceremony in which money and sweets are given to the boy by the girl’s family and to the girl by the boy’s family. The thaka ceremony usually takes place at the home of the girl or at a place arranged by her family.
Preparing for Thaka
Time of Day:
How it’s Done:
- Father or designate from boy’s side gives money directly to girl. Then offers and feeds her a small bit of Indian sweet.
- Father or designate from girl’s side gives money directly to boy. Then offers and feeds him a small sweet.
Bachai lok, your Auntyji knows that thakas these days are becoming big and elaborate, but I recommend the thaka be a small, intimate gathering of the two families. Plenty of opportunities for big functions will arise throughout the wedding. A thaka, in my humble opinion, is best conducted when accompanied by lunch, or perhaps, afternoon tea with snacks – because, bachai lokh, as you know, all Punjabi functions must include kanna (food).