Should I include a shirt/turban when gifting a suit to a widow?

When suits are given to ladies at weddings do you give a turban/shirt for those that are widowed? – Jas

Jasji,

Thank you for your question. As with all events that require danaa lanaa, the answer depends on your family and what they usually do in these situations. In some families it is customary to include a turban or shirt for a widow in honour of her husband or as a gesture of giving equally to all parties. She may then give it to her son or other male family member. In other families only a suit is given.

My recommendation, as the practical aunty that I am, is to give only a suit. This ensures it will be used as opposed to a shirt or turban that may in the end be re-gifted if no close male relatives exist for her pass these on to.

However, if you are still unsure (because for this scenario there is no one way or right way to do it), I suggest you ask some of your relatives who will also attend this wedding and as a collective you decide what you will all do. This way if you all decide not to include a turban/shirt no offence should be taken by your female relative because everybody has done the same thing. You may also decide to give a turban/shirt if she has a son or son-in-law she can give it to. An elder in your family could let this person know of your decision ahead of time so she will not be surprised (especially if she has been recently widowed). Remember that money can also be given in lieu of a turban or shirt. This way she can utilize the money as she wishes.

 

Aapke,

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