Nanki Shuk

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Nanki Shuk

Nankay (maternal family) arrive with gifts for the bride including her wedding outfit. This is known as Nanki Shuk.  Traditionally, nankay were the ones responsible for buying the wedding outfit and jewellery for the bride. There are no rules attached to this event. It can take place at any time that suits those involved and can be done in any manner. For example the gifts for the bride can be shown to the guests or simply delivered privately.

Auntyji’s Approach

Bachai lok, as the price of wedding outfits continues to rise and bridal tastes and wants may be much more than nankay can afford, your Auntyji recommends having a frank discussion about the costs of outfits and jewellery. To make sure the bride gets what she wants and to make sure the nankay’s bank is not broken, her family may have to pitch in towards the costs of the wedding day outfit.

Some families no longer have the expectation that nankay will pay for the wedding outfit or jewellery. Nankai are free to give what they want and what they can afford.

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2 Responses to Nanki Shuk

  1. Davina Smith says:

    I have read your articles with interest and really interested as I have often wondered whose responsibility is it anyway. This is definitely long overdue, as I have heard different advice shouted at weddings which is all very confusing. It seems bad manners to enquire about rituals that are difficult to understand at times during the hustle bustle of wedding.
    I want to know:
    What gifts are given to Nankay after the Nanki Shak
    The chunni the bride wears at lavva, who gives this chunni? Is this the chunni that the mother in law gives or is it the one from nanki shak or something completely different
    Is there milni gifts for women from grooms side and when are these given
    After the wedding ceremony has finished, who pays for reception – Bride’s or Grooms Family
    Who pays for entertainment at the reception. Is this bride or grooms family
    I would really appreciate if you could you email me the answers to my personal email please. Many thanks and keep up the good work

    • Auntyji says:

      Thank you for your questions. I hope that my response will shed some light on these matters for you. I agree that asking about the rituals at the time they are happening is not the most conducive to getting full and complete answers as most people are busy with their part in the ceremony or busy watching.

      Nanki Shak: The gift given to Nankay after the Nanki Shak is usually a box of sweets.

      Chunni at Lavan: The chunni and the entire outfit the bride wears to lavan is given by the mammay (bride’s mother’s brothers) along with the choora (wedding bangle set) the bride is to wear. These two items are separate from the items given at the nanki shak. As for the groom’s family, they outfit the bride for the wedding reception.

      Milni: The milni is traditionally done by men only. Though, I am happy to report, times are changing and more women (particularly the mothers of the bride and groom) are participating in the milni now. As I said in the milni section on the website, I am not in favour of gifts being exchanged at the milni especially since it is a one way exchange. The name of the ceremony embodies what the ritual is about. It should be nothing more than the two families meeting. If gifts are given at the ceremony and if women are involved, I would say that gifts should be given to them as well.

      Wedding Reception: Traditionally, the entire reception, including entertainment, is paid for by the groom’s side.

      Thanks for the kind words and the encouragement about the website.

      Much Appreciated,

      Aapke Auntyji

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